Sunday, October 29, 2006

Ooo Eee Ooooooo Eeeeeeee Ooooooooo (The Twilight Zone Theme)

Anja woke up last night when she got hungry. This sleepy mom read the clock as 1:30. And in usual fashion, both mom and daughter fell asleep in the comfy nursing chair. I put sleeping Anja back in her crib and proceeded back to bed.

The clock said 1:30...again.

And so we grieve another end to daylight savings time. Boy, I hate it when it gets dark so early.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The Giggle

Anja laughs like Beavis and Butthead. Now, my mother reads my blog and she is not going to know who that is. Let me see if I can find a sound clip.


Now, raise that up a couple of octaves and you have the Anja laugh. She's a tough sale though. She will smile at you willingly and often, but you have to do something really special to get the giggle. I used to get the giggle when I sang "Stars and Stripes" to her, with a few WEEEs thrown in. But now that's old. Now I get the giggle if I sit her on top of me and do tummy crunches. It's kind of like peek-a-boo, but a lot more painful. It's definitely worth it.

I'm sure that someday she will be like this. And she will laugh more than all four of them put together!!

Adventures At The Drive-Thru - Chapter 1

I really like Mexican food. I could eat it for three meals a day each day of the year. In my city, there is a certain local Mexican restaurant which has a location on nearly every corner. I won't name it in order to give it some modicum of anonymity, but us locals call it TC's. And the food is actually pretty decent. A few locations are open 24 hours. I started going to TC's when I was in college. The original TC's is located right down the street from my college campus and it was a very popular hang out for students back in the day. On Friday nights after hanging out in local bars, everyone would flock to that one TC's and the line for the drive-thru went down the street for a block or two. The sperm donor and I went to that one TC's the night we met and enjoyed some tacos. So this restaurant chain has played a significant role in my life. Food does that.

So imagine our excitement a few years ago when a TC's opened just five minutes from our house. Bean and cheese tacos, fajitas, enchiladas, breakfast tacos, margaritas...all within walking distance (although we have never walked there). The drive-thru has become a regular spot to pick up dinner. But something weird always happens at the drive-thru. I can't tell you how many times I have come home, TC's bag in hand, and said to the sperm donor, "I have got to blog about this." For starters, TC's does not advertise themselves as a fast food restaurant, thus justifying the long wait in the line. To me, if it looks like a fast food restaurant, operates like a fast food restaurant, and tastes like a fast food restaurant, then it probably is. If you go inside, you order at a counter and are given a number which is momentarily screamed incoherently. So, I don't know why the wait is so long. Then there was the little female teenage snit who worked the drive thru window and always used to say "Make sure you have your money ready when you get to the window." To which it took much restraint not to reply with "Well, you make sure to have my *&!@ food ready at the window and we'll have a deal!"

So tonight I'm sitting at the drive-thru ready to relay my order to Rosa and...well it goes something like this...

Rosa: Welcome to TC's. What can I get you?
ME: I will have a bean and cheese taco, a -
Rosa: I'm sorry, I can't hear you. What was that again?
ME: A bean and cheese taco.
Rosa: Oh, OK. (Bean and cheese taco flashes on the screen in front of me) What else would you like?
ME: I would also like a steak fajita taco.
Rosa: I'm sorry. I'm still having a really hard time hearing you. How would you like your chicken?
ME (screaming at this point and wondering how a chicken entered our dialogue): No. I said a steak fajita taco.
Rosa: Oh, OK. (Steak fajita taco flashes on the screen in front of me) Would you like anything else?
ME: An enchilada plate.
Rosa: What?
Rosa: Oh. How many?
ME: Two!
Rosa: What kind?
ME: Beef.
Rosa: Cheese?
ME: No. Beef.
Rosa: Cheese??
Rosa: Cheese???
Long pause. My total flashes on the screen.
ME: Thank you.
Rosa (as I am driving away): Was that right?

So, I get to the window and Rosa inquires about my enchiladas. I told her I really wanted beef, but cheese will do. I am handed a bag with my enchiladas and only one taco. My receipt mentions nothing about my bean and cheese taco.

I got it for free.

Stay tuned. I promise there will be more!

Monday, October 02, 2006

How To Assemble A High Chair

1. Get box cutter and a screwdriver.
2. Place baby in play gym.
3. Open box and remove contents. Look at contents with awe and wonder.
4. Assemble high chair toy as directed in Step 1 of instructions.
5. Show toy to baby.
6. Read Step 2 of instructions. Look at contents again.
7. Tend to fussy baby who got stuck in gym while rolling over.
8. Read Step 2 again. Look perplexed.
9. Say an expletive.
10. Ask sperm donor for help with Step 2.
11. Play with baby.
12. Watch as sperm donor assembles the rest of the high chair.
13. Play with baby.
14. Look at assembled high chair with awe and wonder. Thank sperm donor for showing you the difference between inny parts and outty parts.
15. The next day, put batteries in the toy you so masterfully assembled.
16. Put baby in high chair. Don't forget to adjust the straps on the seat!
17. Show baby the toy you put together for her.
18. Take lots of pictures.