Friday, December 22, 2006

Road Songs

We are in Albuquerque again, this time to celebrate Anja's first Christmas with her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Thirteen hours in the car is a bit much for me, but not for my little trooper. She always had a parent in the back seat with her to keep her entertained. These songs helped a lot too.

Carrot The Snowman
(obviously to the tune of "Frosty The Snowman" and dedicated to the toy snowman Anja received at her first visit to Santa)

Carrot The Snowman
Was a really happy guy
'Cause he lived with a little girl named Anja
Who really made him smile

Carrot The Snowman
Was as happy as he could be
When Santa let him live with the little girl
He was all filled up with glee

He has coal for eyes
And a carrot for a nose
But his smile is ten feet wide
And when she reaches out for him
It just about makes him cry

OH - Carrot The Snowman
Was a really happy guy
'Cause he lived with a little girl named Anja
Who really made him smile

The Gotta Go Song
(make up your own melody - I did)

Mommy has to pee
Really really badly
Mommy has to pee
Or things could get really messy

Daddy will get mad if Mommy pees in the car
'Cause we still have to drive really far
Mommy has to pee
Really really badly

That last one got the sperm donor laughing so hard that I could barely finish the song through my own laughter. Which got Anja giggling - either because it was funny or because her parents are nuts.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

A Little Sticky, Lots Of Sap

This via zombie. In my defense, I am a social worker. Social workers, by nature, tend to be sensitive, compassionate, empathic, sympathetic, capable of unconditional love, and loads of other crap. And usually to a fault.


53% Extraversion, 26% Intuition, 20% Thinking, 53% Judging know that sensitive mamsy-pansy sap I was talking about earlier? Yeah. Well, someone had to get it and you pulled the short straw. Now pull yourself together, crybaby.

You are quite possible one of the most sensitive people I know and I don't even know you! You care what each and every single person thinks about you. You're the kind of person who sends around a txt to everyone they know saying "i thnk ur prtty. wat do u thnk abt me? rate me frm 1-5."

That's 1 meaning "I hate you" and 5 meaning "You make me vomit when I look at you." You're still crying, aren't you?

Sure. All you want is for someone to appreciate you once in a while. Aww... Boohoo. Hold a pity party sometime. The garden's free. Lots of worms down there. Big ones. Small ones. Squishy ones.

My guess is you don't understand this test one bit. You can't imagine how anyone could be so insulting or why anyone could find it even remotely amusing...STOP THE DAMN WATERWORKS, WOMAN!

Naive is a word that needs to be branded on your forehead... Alright, now I feel bad. Sure, you do have some redeeming factors, just not many. Sorry.


If you want to learn more about your personality type in a slightly less negative way, check out this.


The other personality types are as follows...

Loner - Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving

Pushover - Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging

Criminal - Introverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving

Borefest - Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging

Almost Perfect - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving

Freak - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging

Loser - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving

Crackpot - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging

Clown - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving

Commander - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving

Do Gooder - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Judging

Scumbag - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving

Busybody - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging

Prick - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving

Dictator - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 99% on Extraversion
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You scored higher than 99% on Intuition
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You scored higher than 99% on Thinking
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You scored higher than 99% on Judging

Link: The Brutally Honest Personality Test written by UltimateMaster on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Thursday, December 14, 2006


I was parked at a stop light the other day when a guy pulled up next to me playing his car stereo really loud. He was singing just as loud and looked like he was having a really good time. Though I can't remember what it was, his car looked like a piece of junk and he must have spent some serious money to put in such an awesome sound system. I rolled my window down out of curiosity to see what he was listening and singing along to.

It was the theme from "The Family Guy." And he was loving it.

When I was in middle school, there was a listing in the phone book for...

TITZHOFF Henauder ____________ ###-####

Seriously. We all had these little notebooks we had to carry from class to class in order to write down all of our homework. Our parents had to sign our books at the end of the week. I suppose this was to eliminate the possibility that we might forget having homework, but not the possibility that we simply did not want to do it. My friends and I all decorated our notebooks with the names of the guys we liked (many of whom got crossed out as time went by) in addition to logos for Van Halen and Def Leppard and such. I cut Mr. Titzhoff's number out of the phone book and taped it to my notebook.

Anja now has three boyfriends at day care: the one she holds hands with on the buggy, the one she occasionally shares toys with, and the one who makes sure to retrieve all of her toys which are stolen by the older kids. Sigh.

The sperm donor and I assembled this for Anja last night. It is a Christmas gift, but she doesn't know much about Christmas so I figured she could have it early. She's already managed to pull one piece off and throw it across the floor (this is a great hobby right now). Maybe when she grows up she will learn to develop baby toys that are baby proof.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Riding In Cars With Boys

The day care teachers take the babies for a buggy ride during the day. Six little babies strapped into a giant red wagon. Even the little babies get to go, equipped with their own little infant seat. The babies are then steered through the office building where the sperm donor works. Sometimes they even go outside. Several of the sperm donor's co-workers leave their cubicles during the buggy ride in order to wave at the babies.

Anja seems to like the buggy ride, although a couple of times she has nodded off during it. The buggy ride is a good chance for her to see her daddy. She is very popular during the buggy ride as she is only one of two female babies at day care.

A couple of days ago, Anja was spotted holding hands with one of the little boys during the buggy ride.

This naive mom really thought that we didn't need to address this subject for at least another twelve or thirteen years. We talked about what it meant to hold hands with boys. I told her that she probably should avoid holding hands with all of the boys because she might earn a reputation as some kind of hussy. And those cute little boys might have their feelings hurt.

She said: "A-ya ya ya ya ya. Ya ya ya ya ya. Aaaaiieeeee!! Ya ya ya ya. Ba. Ba. Ba." So I think she understood.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

A Truly Great Moment In Parenting

Anja has discovered solid foods. Well, not "solid". "Solid" really refers to anything that is not breastmilk or formula. But she gobbles down bananas and cereal a couple of times a day at day care, and last night she was gobbling down some carrots. In a couple of days we might try some peaches.

Liquid diets tend to produce liquid poops, but throw some food in there and you never know what you will get. So I was so delighted when I changed Anja's diaper the other day and found a different kind of poop. I yelled out to the sperm donor...

"Look honey!! She's made her first turd!!"

Ahh...the joys of parenting.